Thursday, March 21, 2013

Mr. Mix

Does anyone remember an old PC game from the early 1990s called "Mr. Mix''? It's mainly a typing game, similar to Mario Teaches Typing, where you have to type words into a box to make a chef (the titular Mr. Mix) put ingredients into a bowl.

Unlike most typing games, however, this game is notorious for having an insane difficulty curve. The game has a "Words per Minute" requirement for each level, being as low as 10 on level one and as high as 85 on the third. By level five, the requirement reaches over 500, effectively making it impossible to proceed any further.

One of the main things that people noticed about this game immediately was the background music. The music on the first level was an unsettling pattern of growls that got progressively louder as the level went on, often causing damage to early computer speakers that were not designed to handle extremely high volumes of sound.

The second level had no music at all and the third had what sounded like an extremely low-quality recording of a hair dryer playing in the background. The remaining two levels had an extremely loud high-pitched ringing throughout the level that caused severe ear drum damage to those who managed to get that far.

Another rather disturbing aspect of the game was the design of Mr. Mix himself. He was a large, round-faced, overweight man with large beady eyes and red spots on his cheeks.

Most children who played the game reported having vivid nightmares of Mr. Mix speaking to them in a quiet, raspy voice and threatening them to keep quiet about something. However, none of them could remember exactly what that was.

One psychologist who saw many of these children reported being disturbed by the sheer amount of terror on the faces of the children as they recounted the details of the nightmare.

Many of the children broke down into tears in the process, begging for their parents to "save" them. However, no direct relationship to the game itself could be determined by these few cases, as not all children suffered the same adverse effects.

For obvious reasons, this game did not sell very well. It remained in relative obscurity until a few years ago, when PC hackers got hold of a ROM of the game and started digging through it.

Using memory hacking software, they managed to crack the game's code and bypass the impossible fifth level. What they found, however, was extremely disturbing and caused many of them to quit the expedition altogether.

According to the reports these hackers left behind, the game behaves very strangely if the fifth level is bypassed. The game crashes violently and closes, writing a bunch of files to the user's System32 directory to the point that the RAM was almost completely filled.

These files are reportedly pictures of people with horribly deformed faces, appearing to scream in pain and agony with their eyes appearing to be bleeding from their tear ducts and their outer layer of skin torn clean off in multiple places.

If the user attempts to delete these files, the computer will violently crash and blue screen, causing permanent irreparable damage to the user's hard drive.

The hackers found that this was caused by a lone byte in the game's ROM that triggered when the fifth level was completed. After removing this byte, they were able to proceed to the sixth and final level.

Unfortunately, all of the original hackers declined to discuss what they saw in the final level. All of them became extremely paranoid and reclusive, refusing to talk about anything related to the game and showing astonishingly extreme symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Most of them ceased to be able to form coherent sentences within a week and, within a month, all of them went missing. All remaining copies of the game were destroyed.

To this day, no one knows what was in that game that caused them so much psychological damage. Maybe it's better that way.

Two years after this incident, a man was arrested after trying to kidnap an eight-year old girl from a grocery store. Through DNA and fingerprint analysis, the man was identified as one of the original hackers who viewed the final level of the game.

He was wearing a white chef's hat and had a look of unspeakable malice and insanity on his face. When interrogated, the man would only say one thing.

"I'm Mr. Mix. Shhh."

Yu-Gi-Oh 5D Wheelie Breakers


I still remember that day, around a year ago, the day that I had gone onto eBay.

Around that time a game that came out into Japan, and it wasn’t making it to America, so what I needed was a Japanese system. I’m terrible at modding things so I don’t even try.

Going to the best site, that I can come up with, eBay, I went online to find a good priced Japanese Wii. As I went through the auctions everything seemed to be a bit too pricey to me, until I came across one that came across my eyes one that peeked my interest.




What I came across was a little more expensive (an estimate of ¾ more if I recall) more than the cheapest that I came across. With the Wii it came with two Wii-motes, a Nunchuck, a Classic Controller, and the best part: it came with 20+ games, most I couldn't make out as they were strewn about. Now, like anyone else, I was suspicious as I checked out his profile looking through his past auctions, it even said he had a 100% positive feedback.

Thinking back now, I shouldn’t have done it, but I remember leaning back in my chair thinking it over. “It sounds a little fishy” I said to myself, but in the end, curiosity won over me. I went over to my “fun”-funds, seeing if I had enough to waste. Seeing that I did, I went back to my computer and went to auction, it was odd that I was the only one betting, considering the time was almost up.

Upon winning the auction, I preceded to the fill out, and after that all that was left was to play the waiting game, I always lost that damn game. A couple of days had gone by, as I went to my email to clean out spam, I noticed an email from my auctioneer, which is odd as I don’t usually get that from many people. I opened it up, and read:

To XXXXXX

Thank you for buying my product, I have been wanting to get rid of it for a long time. I’ve been putting it up quite a few times, but no one wanted it, thanks once again.

From XXXXXX

As I read that, I thought it was weird, I kept asking myself why anyone would pass up such a great deal when someone has such a great background. Then it passed as I thought “well, their loss.”

Almost a week had gone by, the UPS truck was pulling up my driveway and I came out and retrieved my package.

Upon opening the large box, it seemed very weird, in the box were two smaller boxes more than likely one for the Wii, the other for the games, its not that it was weird, I just didn’t expect it. Opening one of the inner boxes, I found the system itself, taking a quick look over it, it seemed to be in near perfect condition with a couple of smudges and a scratch, nothing that I couldn’t fix. Opening the second box, what I saw was what really took my breath away in shock.

In the box were the 20+ games that was promised, the weird part was more than half of them they were still in the original packaging plastic. Picking up a couple of games, I carefully looked them over, as I thought they were brand new games still in their seal.

Looking at the pile of games that were in the small box, I had a really bad feeling for some reason. Looking over the games, I saw a couple that I already had, I even saw some that I had been wanting that I just didn’t get yet. Going down the list, one used game caught my attention; “Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D’s Wheelie Breakers”. I easily recognized it as I already had an English version. For some reason, I was looking over it a few times, why I did, I don’t know, I figured it was that lightning bolt that appeared over the stadium, it just always caught my eye.

Worried about some kind of mistake, I tried to email my auctioneer.

To XXXXXX

Hey, XXXXXX, if you remember a week ago I had ordered something off of you from eBay. Now I’m not disappointed with my purchase, but there seems to be a mistake I had order used games from you, but I think you may have sent me some new games. It just feels odd that is.

From XXXXX

A week went by, after sending many messages and receiving no replies, I had given up.

So, taking out the games, I began playing. A few weeks had gone by, playing numerous hours on the Wii, getting bored, I got up to switch out games. While going through the box to look for another game, that game once again caught my attention. Picking up Wheelie Breakers, even though I completed the English version, I finally decided to play it.

Looking over the game itself, the disc was probably the best condition of all the used games, I knew people didn’t like the game, but come on. Booting up the game, I came across the “press a button” menu, at this time it was strange. Out of all the used games this was the only one that didn't have an already saved game on the system. So starting a new game, I used my name from my English version: Breaker.

Playing the game, it was how it was when you usually play this game. Completing both sides of story mode, I worked my way up through the cups of the tournaments. As I unlocked all the cards in the shop, I began buying them, in order to make any deck. After collecting 3 of every card, I noticed that it seemed that when you buy a certain number of a card the card then becomes “SOLD OUT,” so I decided that I probably should try to make every card sold out.

Officially completing the game, this took me about a couple of months to do that (maxing out DP as well). Because I was finished with it, I wanted to do something big that I’ve never done before. I came up with an idea: beat both paths of Story mode, and complete all 4 cups, all within one sitting to finally beat the game.

Upon completing the credits of the Fortune Cup, something came up that I didn’t expect. A message came up, like those that would pop up for when cards would unlock in the shop. I couldn’t read Japanese but I recognized one symbol, it read “4,” I found that weird, but a pressed A in order to continue, and everything faded to black as usual.

As I was getting up to turn the game off, the screen faded back to normal. Instead of it being the main menu, my character was at the starting line of a race. As this had never happened before I had sat down, and waited for the starting countdown. A few seconds had gone by and nothing, I took the controller and saw that I could move.

So, Boron I began riding off, passing the starting line, when I noticed something immediately, my screen was nearly blank. I looked over the screen, and the icon which showed my life points wasn’t there, the icon that showed my deck was also missing along with my hand, the only thing that was there was the map and the lap number but instead all it showed was “1/” no indication of the number of laps needed.

Going through the track, I noticed right away that the track I was on was the one where you duel Rua in story mode. Aside from moving the bike, I couldn’t do anything else that you would normally do, even when going over the AP or DP icons nothing would happen. Looking over at my map I noticed that there was only the red dot that represented my character, and the track was eerily quiet.

Starting the next lap, I could have sworn that I heard something, of course there was no battling so it may have been part of the game. Going through the empty race track once more, I came across something else that was strange. Stopping so that I could “Check it out” I could see Satellite across the water, but it was different, the smog/fog that use to cover the city was gone and it looked different then I remembered from other times that I passed by.

Continuing through I reached the start of the “3rd” lap, that time I could have sworn I heard something, but I wasn’t so sure. There wasn’t anything that I noticed this time around, except for that is was just as emptied as I passed by earlier. It was about halfway through this track when something different happened.

According to the map, all the way back at the starting line a blue dot appeared moving down the track. The speed of the dot itself was moving faster than any other of the characters would, especially Jack, and it was closing in to my very own dot, closing the gap in-between us.

Coming up to the finish/starting line, the blue dot was near, that was until it started slowing down as it got close to my dot. Reversing my view, the blue dot got into my view, A strange, white motorcycle was behind me, and the one riding it had long white hair with a long coat blowing in the wind, but I couldn’t make out his face.

For one reason or another, the blue dot man wouldn’t pass me, he would just stay behind me. As I crossed the line, the screen changed again, this time everything was there, except that the lap icon reset itself to “1/”. The life point icon showed that the man behind him was wearing some kind of mask and had a scar over the left eye.

The duel started, I kind of felt a chill, having my dragon deck I quickly special summoned Stardust Dragon from my hand. I spun around, I was going to meet who ever this guy was head on, I had Stardust attack the man. The man reversed the damage to my monster with magic cylinder, then he summoned a monster I was shocked to see.

“Blue Eyes White Dragon” I recall saying to my self, but I noticed there was something being said, this was not new as the MC spoke in the game, I couldn’t make out what he spoke of. I was caught off guard and my opponent had his monster attack, with the combined damage of his attack and the reversed damage from earlier caused Stardust to be destroyed. I felt something, as once again that voice spoke, all could make out was “My.”

I came across AP, as I wanted to go on the offense, I summoned Red Daemon Dragon and I placed a trap card on the field. Coming across another AP I had RDD attack blue eyes, it connected as it destroyed one of the cards in my opponent's hand. I heard some laughing from my Wii-Mote, the masked man attacked with Blue-Eyes activating my trap “Scrap-Iron Scarecrow.”

“Stupid AI,” seriously, I had RDD attack once again, destroying Blue-Eyes White Dragon and destroying another card in his hand. “Hatred,” the voice came again, suddenly he activated a spell card destroying RDD.

Following the destruction of Red Daemon Dragon, we came up to the second lap, a lightning bolt appeared in the sky background, which I didn’t think this game had. I saw a couple of cards under his icon, I wanted to get rid of his cards so I summoned Black Rose Dragon.

At the time I summoned Black Rose Dragon, the man behind me summoned a monster of his own, Stardust Dragon. I gritted my teeth, he protected his cards, I quickly had Black Rose Dragon attack my opponents Stardust. I heard a laugh again, I ran into a trap, he activated his own Scrap-Iron Scarecrow. “Our future” he once again spoke.

The guy had Stardust attack my monster, taking out half of BRD health. He once again had Stardust to attack my monster, destroy it. “4 to 4” this I didn’t understand what he said, was he referencing what the game said before this started. I had aimed to get the next AP icon, but for the first time, he cut me off causing me to go into a wall.

After spinning out, I got myself back on the track, but not before that guy attacked my life points. “Desperation” this time, I was getting irritated, I was being mocked by a video game character. I summoned my own second Stardust, but this time the animation was different: his wings were drooping more, and didn’t seem to be flapping as fast, I ignored it and placed a trap on the field, and a spell to recover some life.

The two of us attacked each other simultaneously with both Stardusts, and as both attacks hit each other, both our trap cards activated, but my trap negated its attack and sent the damage at him, his trap stopped my attack, so the damage was sent back at my monster, in the end his Stardust was destroyed. As that he lost a monster, he lost speed, I passed him, my Stardust animation changed again this time its limbs and tail began drooping and his color was slightly faded.

“Pain of others,” okay, by now this guy was really getting on my nerves, he activated a spell card which destroyed the rest of Stardust’s life, the destruction animation seemed a bit more dreary then what it was.

Trying to get the upper hand, I quickly special summoned one of the Synchro’s in my hand, my second Black Rose Dragon. This time the animation was also different, a few of the petals were missing, and others looked like they were wilted. Using Double Attack, I had Black Rose Dragon attack the masked man, with no need of AP.

“Hesitation makes four” the voice once again came from my Wii-mote, he activated a trap, he must have placed it between my summon of BRD and its attack, it didn’t negate my attack but damage was sent against my monster, he did take direct damage. He just laughed.

We came across the third lap, “A door has opened” he spoke of he summoned a new monster

“That’s not right,” at least, the monster isn’t among the 126 cards available: “Rainbow Dragon!”

I remember the winged serpent dragon even had its own roar. Getting some AP the man attacked me, destroying BRD and its petals seemed to burn away.

“Damn it,” I can recall myself saying.

“…the others…” was what I could make out from what came from my hand.

As I was ahead of the man, I activated Nightmare steel cage, causing my opponent to not attack. Using Dragon’s Mirror I special summoned a dragon from my hand. My 2nd Red Daemon Dragon appeared, its appearance was different as well, it seemed like the red began reaching around its body, its wings seemed deteriorated. Having Red Daemon attack, he destroyed Rainbow Dragon in one hit, probably because of its weak defense.

We were coming up to the end, attacking once again, I reduced the person’s life points down to zero, but my attack didn‘t reach soon enough as he used a card to destroy RDD…spinning out, I took this second before he recuperated, using a speed spell to get the upper hand.

I then crossed the line, I remember the sudden change in the field, as the words “SURVIVE!!” came to the screen and the lap number once again reset to “1/”. The sky itself had become darker, the buildings around us seemed to become ruins, the side of the roads seemed to be covered in flowers.

I remember knowing it was odd, I looked up at the map seeing that the blue dot was once again on the move, which was too soon for him to recuperate. I could hear his laugh, coming from my hand.

The duel seemed to turn into a survival, looking at the life points, he was at an advantage since his life points reset back to 4000. Looking now, I realized his mask was gone…I could barely make out his face, it just seemed his one visible eye was just staring blankly ahead, as if at me.

Realizing what has happened so far, I needed to get ahead, and destroy more monsters. Crossing over a long path of AP’s, I spun around this time summoning Black Rose Dragon, destroying his trap cards on his field. Looking at Black Rose Dragon, there was a significant change this time: there were no roses, it just looked like a root and nothing more, its own body seemed to be barely moving at all.

I didn’t know what was going on, but at the time it was exciting, I had Black Rose attack this man directly, the attack animation seemed slower than usual if I remember correctly.

I looked up into the corner to see that he indeed took the damage, I was sort of relieved, that was until he summoned his own monster. He summoned Red Eyes Black Dragon.

At that point, I wasn’t surprised, I knew I had played games before where the AIs could use moves that the regular player wouldn’t be able to. The man preceded to attack me with Jounochi’s rarest card, with my withered Black Rose Dragon barely hanging in there, that was until the guy played double attack to strike once more, I remember seeing what was like pieces of its body hitting the screen.

“Life” the voice once again spoke up through the speaker, with the extra stored up AP he was able to attack me one again.

At that point I was on my last little life, down 7 monsters, and only taken out 3. Thinking it over, how could my perfect Power House deck not work in this game? I knew I was going to beat this guy one way or another, but I wasn’t going to reset the game at any cost.

Drawing a spell card, I activated it, special summoning one random Synchro monster from my hand, with only the one in my hand, I brought out Red Daemon Dragon. Looking at the summoning animation the once powerful Daemon with its head lowered down, its wings seemly completely gone, the dark part of its body seemed to be missing as it was filled with red, its claws hanging to its side. Placing one card down, I had my Dragon begin my counterattack.

“…help it…” I can’t put my fingers on what he said exactly though. He tried to attack me, I was able to dodge, he just laughed. Waiting to bring my AP, I was able to strike while my opponent began its attack, canceling its attack and destroying Red Eyes.

“Reachable!” he spoke playing a magic card, special summoning a monster from his hand.

The monster he summoned was Cyber End Dragon, I still remember its mechanical shriek. The man brought the battle close, having all three heads attack my monster at the same time activating my trap, though not negating the attack, it sent damage back at his own monster.

Little more than halfway through the track, I did something that really screwed me over, not looking where I was going I ran over one of his field spells Dark Hole, destroying the rest of Red Daemon Dragon’s life, with what seemed as dust blowing into the air.

“Hell!” He once again attacked me, but with Negate Attack, it was nullified. Looking at my hand, I saw my last monster in my deck. I needed to make the last monster count.

Coming upon the next lap, I was capable of summoning my last monster, my third and final Stardust Dragon. Looking at its animation, my breath was stolen. The color was gone, the wings were to the floor. It was as if it was not looking forward to what would happen to it, almost sorrowful. Of course the opponent would not allow me to wait, as it stuck at my monster, taking away more than half of its life.

Finally making it to the last lap, the track once again changed. The field itself wasn’t too different, but the sky had become lighter. Though it seemed as if there were wavy shadowy figures on the side of the road. My character's animation had once again changed. The white color seemed to have vanished and seemed to be somewhat transparent. Attacking my opponent's monster, I took notice of its life points. My icon’s image had changed as in itself the picture seems to have been disappearing. As I noticed this, I had also noticed that the background was getting lighter and whiter.

I tried to pay no more attention to it, as I had a duel to win. Coming across the long row of AP once more I was able to attack again, causing more damage to the mechanical hydra. The masked man attacked me as well, causing me to use my last defensive trap card in my deck to protect my remaining monster. When I used rear-view, which I hardly ever used, I noticed that a trail of red tears were coming for his now being transparent face.

I came up to what would have been my monster’s last attack. Using it, it connected with CED, destroying it for good. It was then that at that moment of destruction a new monster took its place. As that happened, Double Attack was activated, wiping out my last monster the shock messing with my speed going forward.

“Future,” laughing, as if knowing that at this point I had nothing left too beat him with. Looking back to see the monster, it was a long serpent dragon. It looked like it was a Rainbow Dragon. Noticing my character's facial expression, the trails of red was flowing more like a river at this time.

We were half way at this point, I had nothing left, I just had to make sure that I got first place and that was it. Continuing on, I had immediately noticed that the background had definitely gotten whiter, and the black shadows on the side were even more noticeable in their movements.

Looking once more at the life points, I noticed that my icon was nothing more than just an out line, but it too had the river of red in full color. But the facial image above it was still staring, and still seemed the same.

At this point, all I was doing was dodging, the monster behind his attack was like a large Synchro summoning animation, but purely black. It was simple to tell exactly when it was attacking and where it was from. The person was close to me, following right up behind me. I used a maneuver using my spinning animation to make him crash out, making sure that he would not cross in front of me.

Using my last speed spell, I gained one final speed boost, hoping that this would be all that I needed to win. Noticing that the blue dot behind me was still far away, I figured that I could still be able to beat it.

I was coming up on the last bit of the track, at this point there were more shadowed figures as if they were all just watching me. At this time I could see the finish line ahead of me, the background behind it was white, as if there was nothing there, but what was surprising was what was at the starting line.

At the starting line, every character that you could face off against was on the other side of the finish line. All the riders themselves were standing by their motorcycles like in the character select screen from Yuusei to Jack, from Jaeger to the gold knight guy, from Ushio to Fat Albert police man. All around them, were a group of those shadowed figures that were along the road, as if they were all waiting for me to cross over the finish line.

Well I wasn’t just about to disappoint them, and lose my perfect winning streak on the game today. It was then that I was seconds from the end, I was going to win, I was going to show my awesomeness in front of everyone…but…

With one dark blast, my life points reached zero. I had lost, my motorcycle spun out of control, just in front of the finish line. Looking at my life point counter, there was nothing. Inside the emptied red box was nothing, as if the river of red was overflowed.

“All Gone,” the voice once said. At that point, I saw over to the map as the blue dot came up closer to my red dot. As the dot reached me it just disappeared, no one appeared beside me, behind me, or in font of me, all I saw ahead was the warmth white light that I almost had.

I then remembered what happened next, everything that was own my side of the finish suddenly turned black except for my character. What was remaining of light suddenly shrunk away, leaving, I could feel as if everyone was leaving me, going on to where ever they were going, I was left alone in the that lonely dark.

After a few seconds, I was about ready to turn off the game, I stopped as I saw what happened on the screen then.

My character’s motorcycle had burst into flames, engulfing him alive. He made no movement to even try to put out the fire, as if he wanted this to happen to himself. The river of red from his face was visible, as the sound of 3 monster destruction noises could be heard over and over again.

The cries continued for a little while, until they began to fade away themselves. As the sound of their cries disappeared, my character was all alone again… burning… crying. I couldn’t help it but feel a little sorry for him, and maybe a little bit for me.

It was then that the flames began to die down, the animation itself began to die down, fading away into the background of darkness. It was then that he disappeared that he was no longer visible. I was finally about to go off to finally turn off the game, as a lightning bolt once more covered the screen, becoming very bright.

As the light faded away, I came a little closer to the screen to see if anything else were to happen. Nothing happened, except that as the light faded, a part of it didn’t fade. As everything else was dark, I could see the reflection of my self in my TV, the light below my image once again read that word “4”.

The screen once again turned black, I once again waited for it to do anything else, but it didn’t. As natural, the game returned to the “Press a button” menu. Just out of curiosity I continued, and went onto the loading screen, but as I got there, a new message popped up, one that I have seen in many video games that I knew what it said.

“The game data has been corrupted!”

Seeing that, I knew exactly what that meant, and turning off the game I sat down thinking over what I had just played. A few minutes had gone by, and I wondered if this was what that guy wanted to sell really badly that nobody wanted. Going off to my computer, I brought up my email in order to talk to him, of what exactly just happened. Though to no avail, there was still no reply to my message to him.

A few months had passed, I still ended receiving no replies from him, even after sending another message to him. I had gone to see his eBay account only to find that it was deactivated. Going to the forums, I had found a topic about him, it apparently spoke of how he deactivated his account, and how during the middle of some his auctions he dropped them. Even some that already bought stuff from him were complaining about never receiving it, and the normal death threats against his life.

I had gone over to my Wii, never once touching it since then, those images once more coming to my mind.

Looking down, I saw that game. I never got rid of the game, it just didn’t feel right to me to just get rid of an already used game.

Picking it up, and looking it over once more I remember saying to myself, “Just what was happening?” My eyes once again went to that lightning bolt over the stadium, as that it seemed to still stick out to me. I was about to put it down as then my attention was caught, taking the box once more and looking at that lighting bolt, I saw it once more.

Behind the lightning bolt, I saw it, I saw that man’s face its same glassy stare that I never got out of my mind, only this time, it was no longer staring at me, as if there was no need to stare at me.

After a time, I spoke to others about this game, and about the image that I had found. People that had the game thought I was imagining it, many people couldn’t even see the image that I was speaking about. Then that is when I came here, to share my story, along with this writing. I had also placed the image that I had found on my box, perhaps someone knows...

* * *
[I give up - Owner]

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Web Rescue: GatorAIDS. 7 Freakiest Pokemon RBY Glitches

[This website really wasn't up for long, and it had a really interesting page about Pokemon glitches. Fortunately, I saved it. - Owner]

The 7 Freakiest Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow Glitches
December 2011

When “Pocket Monsters” was created by Japanese game designer Satoshi Tajiri in 1996 it was nothing more than a way for the designer to relive his childhood pastime of insect collecting and share it with the residents of his homeland. For all the options available in the original games it was still quite a linear adventure, and a simplistic one at that. Neophyte game developer Game Freak (directed by Tajiri) set out to produce the original two installments Red and Green, which became such a hit that Blue was also released. Never before had Game Freak produced a game so intricate and detailed, and mistakes were made to say the least. Programming oversights, data omissions, and lack of a proper error handling system eventually led to trainers getting lost in places that looked like this:

WHERE WE'RE GOING WE DON'T NEED EYES TO SEE.

Due to a lack of attention to finite details in their programming work, which is forgivable considering the sheer magnitude of their creation and this being their first time taking on such a venture, both the Japanese and North American releases of the original Pokemon games were riddled with glitches ranging from mildly amusing to downright terrifying. Here’s seven demons Game Freak unintentionally brought upon the world with their magnum opus.

The Original Missingno. 

MissingNo (literally “Missing Number”, #000 in the Pokedex) needs no introduction. MissingNo is the gold standard in Pokemon glitches and is quite possibly one of the most well known and celebrated glitches in the history of video games; MissingNo’s legendary status is on par with that of the Minus World from Super Mario Bros. Glitches in future generation Pokemon games are called “MissingNo” even though they are completely different entities, it’s a glitch that became the name for every other Pokemon glitch because that’s what happens when you’re #1.

MissingNo’s familiar “L” shaped appearance, non-threatening battle cry, duplicate moveset, and item duplication properties are quite vanilla today, but how would you have like to have been the first person to stumble across this beast? Can you imagine minding your own business when suddenly a random encounter begins and the screen freezes black for just a few seconds and…

"Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck." - You

Your butthole would have tensed up at this sight, and don’t you deny that.

Any self-respecting Pokemaniac in the 1990′s knew the entire Pokedex (and the PokeRap) like the back of their hand. You knew #’s 1 through 151 better than your own family, so what in God’s name is this abortion?! It has a terrifyingly alarming name (“MISSING” appears in it), its graphic looks like the bowels of technological hell, and while it cries and fights like a regular Pokemon you have never seen anything like this before in your life. Confronted with the unknown you then do what any starry-eyed trainer would do in this situation: you catch the damn thing.

Sometime later you decide to show your friend your awesome trophy of a glitch and accidentally skip to the Pokemon League’s computer and bring up your Hall of Fame. The music crashes and turns to a single sound channel while the screams of tortured souls come through as pure static in another. Your screen flashes with the garbled mess of a computer virus and attached is a note from MissingNo reading “thank you for liberating me from my prison, this is only my first step to world domination.”

"PS: Check your 6th item."

"Old Man" Trainer ID Theft

Remember that old man in Viridian City who won’t let you pass because he’s a grumpy old fart who hasn’t yet had his fill of coffee? He’s just an arbitrary barrier in the game so that you won’t proceed further without delivering Oak’s Parcel from the PokeMart and once you obtain your Pokedex he changes his attitude and shows you how to catch Pokemon. Unknown to him, the old man also holds the keys to unlocking MissingNo… which come to think of it might be the reason he seems so disturbed and angry at the world. Could you imagine having to harbor that thing? I mean, sure, all the free coffee you could ever want but still I don’t think MissingNo would be suitable company at all, ever.

You can fool with the poor old man all you want if you have a GameShark and play with the cheat codes to alter wild Pokemon encounters. You can have the old man show you how to catch one of the Pokemon not present in your version of the game, you can have him catch a Mewtwo, you can enjoy a spot of meta humor and have him catch a MissingNo, or… you can force him to fight a trainer, and the game just doesn’t know what the fuck to do.

"YOU DAMN KIDS AND YOUR POKEYMAN!!!"

The old man is programmed to do one thing and one thing only: throw a Poke Ball. He still does this after the trainer sends out their glitch Pokemon and as you might expect the trainer blocks it. The old man never sends out any Pokemon (even though he appears to have 1 fainted and 5 normal Pokemon) so right now you’re on the edge of your seat because the trainer’s glitch box of the apocalypse is about to rock this grandpa’s world…

…and out of nowhere the PA system from the Safari Zone chimes in and says “TIME’S UP!!”

The battle ends immediately and the old man acts like nothing happened. He reminds you that you must first weaken the target Pokemon and on the surface it appears no lasting effects have happened… until you check your stats.
Your name has changed to “OLD MAN”. Due to the way the game handles the old man encounter it stores your actual name in the place where wild Pokemon data is stored (because this data is empty in Viridian City) and temporarily changes your player name to OLD MAN. When the battle terminates improperly the game doesn’t have the chance to reset the data and your name becomes OLD MAN. Any Pokemon you have cannot be nicknamed because you are no longer their original trainer, they do not recognize you anymore.

Every single instance where your name would be displayed now says “OLD MAN”. If you access your PC from a Pokemon Center it’s called “OLD MAN’s PC”. If you speak to a character who addresses you by your name, like Professor Oak for example, he will (hilariously) call you “OLD MAN”. If you check the sign outside of your home it will read “OLD MAN’s house”. You have become OLD MAN. He has stolen your identity and pulled off the greatest psychic cleansing ever documented. Everybody you have ever known starts calling you by the incorrect name like nothing happened. Even your own mother doesn’t know you anymore.

MAMA NOOOOOOOO!!!


The ZZAZZ Glitch

This can’t possibly be scary, can it? I mean the name almost looks like the word “pizzazz” which is kind of gay but at the worst would end up being a Shiny Pokemon, right? Shiny things have pizzazz?

Wrong. The “ZZAZZ” glitch is called as such because of a very specific string of data it injects directly into your save file. Unless you’re tempted enough to fool with the game by using sequence breaks or a GameShark you won’t come across this glitch, but God help you if you choose to peek into oblivion and play with things you shouldn’t. Like the saying goes, “when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back” except in this case the “abyss” is a glitched up zombie trainer who rapes you in the mindgina. Glitches are like drugs, and after a while freebasing MissingNo just isn’t enough to get you high; that’s when you OD and this happens:

Oh shit a vuvuzela!! BZZZZZZZZ

Let’s take a look at what the christ is going on here. First thing’s first, your opponent. It’s you as if you were staring into a mirror and there was an interdimensional time rift that sucked you into the cursed mirror world and unleashed the fury of Hell itself into the unsuspecting Kanto. Impostor Red has a full stock of Pokemon, though the first one appears to be poisoned. When he sends this Pokemon out it’s at level 153 and its health bar wraps around the fucking screen. This is what it looks like when you attempt to use a digital Ouija board to channel spirits (reference to the “Channeler” trainers unintended but pointed out).

By this point it’s already too late; you are completely and utterly screwed. The game is operating by itself and is pulling code and instructions from the 7th dimension and the only thing you can do is get your ass kicked by Pokemon of the netherworld while the mirror image of yourself laughs in a mocking tone. There is one escape, though: throw a Poke Ball. No, seriously. Bizarro Red will block it, the game will buzz for a second, and the battle will suddenly end.
But that’s not the end of it. Merely looking at the source of the ZZAZZ infection is enough to let its memetic properties propagate throughout your entire game. Earlier I mentioned the game injects a certain string of data into your game save. Check your trainer name. It’s a bunch of Z’s. The hex value for the letter “Z” is “99″. In base-10 “99″ is “153“, you know, the level of the Pokemon that the Mirror World Red sent out. Check your Pokemon roster. They are all now level 153. Not only that, they are all Bulbasuars. Bulbasaur occupies hex value “99″, which of course translates to 153. Check Bulbasaur’s moveset. Every attack will be Explosion. Can you guess the hex value of this move? I’m sure you can by now; it’s like a bad Jim Carrey movie.

Any trainer you fight, no matter who they are, will now be ZZAZZ. And now you are, too.

Try to watch this video without shitting your pants:

 
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3iVFfKjklk


 "Dokokashira Door" Glitch

Do you have an inexplicable fear of the unknown? Do you worry that one day you’ll open the door to your house and on the other side instead of seeing your living room it’ll be some unknown place in space and time? Are you afraid of being in an elevator because you don’t know what will be on the other side of those cold steel doors when they open? Holy shit, you are going to love this next glitch!

“Dokokashira” is Japanese for “Where is it”, as in “where is the door”. This isn’t “where” as in “it’s right around the corner”, it’s “where” as in “where does the other side of that door lead to?” Yes, that’s right, this whole glitch is about the phenomena of walking into what you think is the Pokemon Center and ending up in the middle of the burned out Cinnabar Island laboratory, with or without a sore B-hole. The “Dokokashira Door” glitch is the roofie of the Pokemon world.

This has "good idea" written ALL OVER IT.

This glitch is only accessible in Pokemon Red and Green, the original two Japanese titles from 1996. It was patched up by the time the Japanese Blue was released, and is not present in the North American release of the game. The reason given is that this glitch was “extremely hazardous” unlike, you know, the ZZAZZ glitch or anything like that.

Starting the glitch requires a fresh game because you need to have Oak’s Parcel in your inventory. You then must press Select and act like you want to change its place in your item list except rather than swap an item you attempt to exchange it with the first Pokemon in your party (which also requires use of the Select button). From this point the glitch is active and every “cycle” of the game (every 4 steps taken) will cause the warp point of every door to change to another location. By forcing the game to swap one set of data with another it turns your only Pokemon into the anomaly stored at hex value “FF” and also shuffles around other data in the game, namely the door location data.

Oh, and that bastard Oak won’t ever get his package because you just decided to open it and found out he ordered the key from The Lost Room.

Of course, with such a rigid set of operations with the glitch (every 4 steps) there’s no doubt a table that has been created by someone with way too much time on their hands. With careful planning you can use the Dokokashira door glitch to walk straight into the Hall of Fame room, access the computer, and beat the game with zero Pokemon in your party.

Must be post-tsunami.


 Hex Value "EC"

In basic terms the Pokemon game stores its Pokemon data in a single location occupying 256 slots of data (256 converted to hex is “FF”, the maximum). 151 of these slots are legitimate Pokemon, about 40 of them are MissingNo, and a few dozen are trainer data. Attempting to use a GameShark to “force” a specific encounter with a trainer ID will cause you to fight a glitchy trainer, not a Pokemon. Through creative circumnavigation, however, you can force the game to read these slots of data as “Pokemon”. If it sounds like a bad idea you’re absolutely correct but people do it anyways, and that’s how “EC” was discovered.

“EC” is the hex location where this glitch is stored. Most glitches have a name that people can use to describe it even if it’s a garbled mess of letters and symbols (e.g. “LM4″). EC has no discernible name. The safety net, then, would be to name it based upon what its sprite looks like. EC also has no sprite, not even a garbled “L” shaped mess like MissingNo. At the very least people could use its type, species, or other identifying data to name it, but it simply does not exist. EC is literally an invisible specter whose data normally corresponds to Lt. Surge.

He looks like an angry grandmother.

Entering “01ECD8CF” into a GameShark and playing the game results in battling Lt. Surge in the middle of nowhere. Most of these glitchy trainer fights possess the same roster of garbage data, but Surge is different. The Lieutenant will actually attempt to send out EC, which is frankly unheard of. EC almost always freezes the game but if the ROM remains stable enough the Pokemon you send out to battle it emerges from its ball with a “frozen” status effect, its HP bar wraps the screen, the location where its name belongs fills up with 9′s, and the screen eventually crashes and turns into a mess of HP bars and numbers.

“EC” is the only hex location in the game where data actually does not exist. There is nothing there, which cannot be correct because Lt. Surge is there. EC is the equivalent of Schrodinger’s cat. It exists and does not exist simultaneously.

Sweet dreams.

The Phantom Ditto

Most people who are familiar with MissingNo are familiar with its close cousin M. The two glitches are almost identical at first: they share the same attacks, they both look the same, they both duplicate items, they both crash the Hall of Fame, and their names both start with (or consist of) the letter “M”. M is entirely different, however, and that should be realized the moment you first encounter it and hear it scream like a Zapdos hyped up on crack.

M occupies hex slot “00″ in the ROM, it is not known why M is the odd-man out when it comes to the other 40-something MissingNo but M is “the one”. M is also the only MissingNo to feature evolutions, and has three of them. At level 138 M will evolve into Clefairy, M can spontaneously turn into a Rhydon unprovoked if you already have an M captured in your party, and at any level other than 138 M will evolve into Kangaskhan. To Pokemon theorists everywhere M is the “missing link” in the whole Kangaskhan, Cubone, and Marowak trifecta of mommy-issues bullshit even though it’s a block of pixels that also has two other unrelated evolutions.

Pokemon creepypasta is the worst kind.

But none of this is the reason why M has made this list. If you initiate battle with M and decide to capture it, after the game tells you M’s been caught…

ENEMY M USED WATER GUN!

What the fuck? It’s still there?! When fighting M if you capture it, the battle doesn’t terminate properly even though M’s sprite has vanished. Either that, or M can replicate itself endlessly and you can never win. If his surprise post-capture attack doesn’t scare the living hell out of you and you throw another Poke Ball at it… you’ll catch a Ditto. A perfectly harmless, completely 100% legitimate, Ditto staring at you with his goofy expression of being completely stoned and complacent.

And nobody knows why this happens.

Dozens of basement dwellers have disassembled and reassembled the Pokemon ROM and studied it in and out, bit by bit, and there is no explanation for the “phantom” Ditto. It’s just “there”… and nobody has a reason why. None. Not even a theory.

"I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL *cough* i mean... oh hai there!!~~"

 Charizard M'

For something as benign and goofy as MissingNo the creature can evolve into some pretty scary shit rather fast, and this isn’t “evolve” in a Pokemon sense. First there was the original MissingNo that started this list off. Then there was M, a distant cousin with a bunch of branch evolutions to rival that of Eevee’s. Finally, we’ve come to Charizard M, the embodiment of Hell itself in a Game Boy game.

Charizard M is not a Pokemon. It certainly looks like one (guess who) but it’s  not. It should not exist, it is not from this world and is comprised of a programming language forged in the very core of the Earth. Charizard M is beyond what can be described as a “programming anomaly” and mythology states that Game Freak didn’t even put it in the game; the master copy of Pokemon was blasted by a bolt of lightning and this happened. Do not treat Charizard M as a Pokemon, for you will be sorely indebted to the Beast in the worst way possible for a Pokemon trainer: without warning or provocation it will eat and transform your Pokemon. Permanently.

If you see this on a Game Boy screen, it is too late.

Charizard M occupies slot “FF” on the cartridge. “FF” is as far as you can go in hex data; Charizard M is the end of the road. The couple dozen or so glitches before it are all boxy glitchy messes that don’t do much until you reach “FF” and discover the final boss of Pokemon. “FF” doesn’t even correspond to a Pokemon, it’s where the game stores the data for the “cancel” menu option. If you dare try to force an encounter with the Cancel button then you’re a goddamn retard and deserve the full fury that this demon can unleash upon you. It’s cry is a mess of static that ruins the audio of the game and by the time you hear it you cannot run. You are in his domain now.

If you’re stupid enough to capture Charizard M and add it to your party you won’t even see it in your roster; it will appear as a blank space. If you move it to the top of your list guess what happens? You will lose your other 5 Pokemon; they will be masked in nothingness by Charizard M because the game reads this creature as a “stop” order. You will no longer be able to heal these Pokemon at a Pokemon Center nor can you interact with them in any way. You just shoved them into a portal to oblivion where they are being raped (by furries) as we speak.

Think it’s a good idea to store Charizard M in a Pokemon Box? Are you stupid? If you put this thing into a box the same will happen to everything in that box; it will vanish. Poof. If you’re not careful with how you handle Charizard M you will end up with more Charizard M’s. No, you didn’t misread that; these things multiply if left to their own devices. Not only that Charizard M has the ability to turn your other Pokemon into copies of itself. If you play with Charizard M everything you have ever caught in your game will become Charizard M.

Don't look now BUT HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

-
DracophileCharizard M

(Spent the better part of your childhood playing Pokemon and sperging out about MissingNo? Join us on the GatorAIDS Forums today!)

Categories: Game Graveyard, The Tags: game boy, glitch, missingno, nintendo, pokemon, spooky

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The True Story of The Theater

 THE TRUE STORY OF THE THEATER
 =============================

It’s not something whispered about in certain circles, it’s not something that comes in a plain-looking jewel case, it’s not by a nameless untraceable developer… and it’s certainly not supernatural.

The game in question is indeed called The Theatre (r before e), and was developed by a company called Salida Software. I’m fairly certain it’s an English company, despite the Spanish name. As far as I know, all they made was learning software (I have a maths suite from them somewhere around here), so The Theatre was probably meant to be some sort of edumentainment game. The game was obviously never finished, probably from lack of funding or the whole company going under.

The description in the story is actually pretty accurate; it’s in a first-person perspective, with flat sprites in a 3D(ish) environment, and glitchy as hell. The Ticket Taker has an egg-shaped body, and one of his hands.is huge and misshapen, I think to look like he’s reaching toward you for your ticket. The description of the Swirly Head Man is also accurate, just a glitched version of the Ticket Taker, but I saw a few people saying that he looks like Giygas… That’s not the case. The features of his face are just swirled, and are red because his lips are gigantic. I have absolutely no idea why this happens, because while there are a few character sprites in the game’s resources, that isn’t one of them. Oh, and just to clarify, the sprite is a bit creepy. That’s all. It’s not terrifying, it’s never filled me with a sense of dread, it’s just a bit creepy.

The game plays pretty much exactly as stated in the story; so accurately, in fact, that I think the author just downloaded it somewhere and decided to make a scary story of his experiences. I’ll admit that some things in it can be unsettling, but not OMG crap-yer-pants scary. Like I said, the game is unfinished, and very glitchy.

I think the idea is to select a movie from the posters on the wall, enter the theater, and play a minigame. The minigames are glitchy (and missing resources) to the point of being almost unplayable, but there doesn’t seem to be a time limit on any of them, so you just have to plow through until you’ve done something right enough times to be dumped into the lobby. What’s described in the story is what happens if you don’t select a movie; you’ll be allowed to enter the theater, but since the parameter of which game to load hasn’t been set you’ll just be dumped back into the lobby.

Here’s where it gets a bit weird. If you continue to enter the theater without choosing a movie, odd, sometimes creepy things WILL happen. I’m not sure why, but if I were to make an educated guess it would be that glitching past the minigames like this causes variables to reach values that they weren’t meant to, resulting in things appearing where they shouldn’t. Or, y’know, the game is just glitched to hell and back. It’s been years, but here are some of the effects I can remember:

-The Swirly Head Man

-Movie posters appearing out of their frame

-Textures changing color

-Legitimately disturbing audio issue

-Other character

-Oher areas

The last two are obviously the most interesting ones. Sometimes you’ll spawn in a small room with a black floor and green walls, which will crash the game if touched. Sometimes you’ll appear in a room similar to the lobby, with a concession stand… kind of. There’s a woman behind the counter, with an incredibly poorly-drawn popcorn machine and soda fountain, but it’s all just an image on the wall. It’s basically just a big yellow concession stand mural. I don’t remember if you can interact with it or not.

The only character that appears with talking about is a guy in a brown jacket, who appears on the sidewalk outside the lobby. Looking back, I don’t think the story mentioned this, but to the left of where you start out the wall is a row of glass doors looking out onto the street outside the theater. If you glitch past the minigames enough, a man in weird-looking jacket (I think it’s supposed to be tweed? it’s a mess) with a huge smile on his face will be just on the other side of the doors, staring at you. I mean a HUGE smile, like Freaky Fred or Spark Brushel (Google image search if you want).

…Actually, since he has the same body shape as the Ticket Taker, he looks a bit like the mayor from The Nightmare Before Christmas. His smile isn’t creepy though, it’s just broad; what IS creepy are his eyes. While the Ticket Taker, ash tray, and other sprites will always face you, the smiling guy is anchored in place like one of the walls. His eyes, however, are always staring right at you. Just thinking about that gives me chills… Okay, okay, while there’s nothing overtly scary or supernatural about the game itself, that’s one thing that I will admit legitimately scares me. Like a porcelain doll…

Ahem. That’s pretty much all there is to The Theatre. If you can find it somewhere, I’d recommend downloading it just to see what it’s like. Oh! One thing I’d forgotten… As stated in the story, getting the thing to run is, to say the least, difficult. I think someone got a hold of all of the code and resources and just compiled it and added their own installer or something. Again, there’s nothing paranormal about the installation, it just doesn’t work well.

* * *
[Behold, the one only sequel to a vg creepypasta that adds wonderfully to the original! - Owner]

The Theater

THE THEATER
===========

Have you ever heard of an old PC game called “The Theater”? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Probably because many people say it doesn’t even exist. You see, The Theater is an old computer game released around the same time as Doom. Today, if you ever find it, it’s only available on crappy bootleg CD-ROMs, which, more often than not, don’t even actually contain the game. The actual legitimate copies that they say were released back in the day feature a blank cover with nothing but the sprite of what has since been named the ‘the Ticket-Taker’. He is simply a poorly drawn, pixelated Caucasian, bald man with large red lips wearing a red vest over a white shirt and black pants. He is completely emotionless, though some say that if you smash the disc his face is shown as angry the next time you look at the cover. But this is just dismissed as an urban myth. What is peculiar about The Theater, though, is that there is no developer named on the jewel case, nor a game description on the back. It is simply the Ticket-Taker on a white backdrop on both sides.

The game was initially known for its inability to install correctly. The installation process immediately locks up the computer when the user reaches the licensing agreement. Also strange about the licensing agreement for The Theater is that whenever the development studio is supposed to be named, the text is simply a blank line. Anyways, most people who have claimed to owning one of the original CDs say that they figured out how to install the game by simply rebooting their computer on the licensing agreement with the disc still inside. Then they are prompted to press ‘I AGREE’ on startup. Then they continue with the installation. The game then starts up without any introduction besides a main menu that is simply the sprite of a movie theater’s exterior on an empty city street. The title fades in and then the 3 menu buttons ‘NEW GAME, LOAD, OPTIONS’. Selecting OPTIONS immediately crashes the game to the desktop. LOAD is said not to function at all. Even if you do have a saved game, nothing happens when you press it. Thus, NEW GAME is the only working menu option.

Once it is selected you are in the first person view. You are standing in an empty movie theater lobby, with the exception of the Ticket-Taker standing in front of a dark hallway which one can only assume leads to the theaters themselves. There’s nothing to do but look at the poorly-drawn, mostly illegible movie posters or approach the Ticket-Taker. Once the player moves towards the Ticket-Taker a very low-quality sound clip plays saying “THANK YOU PLEASE ENJOY THE MOVIE” along with a speechbox saying the same thing. You then walk into the hallway and the screen fades to black and you’re back in the empty lobby and you do the exact thing again and again and again.

While this may sound like a really horrible game, a number of peculiar things occur as you continue to play it. The number of times that you have to continue into the hall after giving your ticket to the Ticket-Taker before the strange events happen is unknown. Most state that it’s completely random and could take anywhere from the first playthrough to the four hundredth. What happens, though, has deeply disturbed some players.

The first occurrence is when the player fades back in after walking into the hallway. This time they will notice the Ticket-Taker is completely absent. The player then, without any other options, decides to walk into the dark hallway. The sound clip and text box mentioned previously still play in the absence of the Ticket-Taker, but when the player walks into the hallways the screen does not fade out. It goes pitch black as they walk deeper into the hall, but the player’s footstep sound clip is still playing as they continue to push the up button on their keyboard. Those claiming to have played the original game report to have felt extremely uncomfortable walking down the hallway, anticipating the whole way something horrible happening. Well, eventually the player is unable to move forward. There is nothing for a few moments before a strange sprite that is described as ‘the Ticket-Taker but with a swirl for a face’ appears and stands before the player. The original players of the game say their bodies immediately froze up and their stomachs churned they saw this sprite (which has been appropriately named the ‘Swirly Head Man’). Nothing happens as the Swirly Head Man stands before them. Then suddenly a piercing screech plays as the game glitches out. This lasts for a few minutes, with the screeching being continuous. Then the player is abruptly returned to the lobby with all the sounds and graphics being as they should be.

The game continues normally for the next couple of ‘cycles’ of entering the hallway, with a couple of the original players claiming the Swirly Head Man would briefly appear and disappear in the corner of the screen as a brisk ‘yelp’ sound effect plays. Then, at some point after meeting the Swirly Head Man, the player sees the Ticket-Taker pacing back and forth (though there is no walking animation - the sprite’s limbs are completely static, so he just hops up and down slightly as a substitute) with his eyes being wide and his mouth open to simulate a worried facial expression. Some players noted that the movie posters had been replaced with images of the Swirly Head Man, which caused them to immediately turn their character’s head away from the posters and approach the Ticket-Taker. Then another, different, low-quality sound clip plays, but the speech box contains nothing but corrupted characters that cause whatever text that would have been in the box to be completely illegible. Due to the extremely low quality of the sound, it is debated by players what exactly the Ticket-Taker says at this point, though it is widely agreed that he says ‘NEVER REACH THE OTHER LEVELS’. Then the screen fades out once again and returns the player back to their starting point in the lobby, but the Ticket-Taker is gone and the hallway is blocked by a large brick wall sprite. Touching the brick wall will immediately crash the game. And that’s all there is to it. No one knows what the ‘Other Levels’ are or how to gain access to them, nor is it known why the Swirly Head Man causes such acute fear in those who have seen him in the game. All the original copies of The Theater have either been lost or destroyed. But the creepiest part is the fact that is that all the original players of the game claim to occasionally see a brief glimpse of the Swirly Head Man out of the corner of their eyes…

Polybius

POLYBIUS
========

Polybius is an urban legend about a rare arcade game released in 1981. The game was created by a mysterious company called Sinneslöschen (German for "Sense Deletion") and was a puzzle/shoot-'em-up somewhat like Tempest. It was only released in a few suburbs of Portland, Oregon. It was supposedly very popular, with people forming long lines to play it. However, players reported strange things about the game, such as hearing a woman crying and seeing grotesque faces out of the corner of their eyes. Players would also have nightmares or even develop amnesia. Some even committed suicide. Others stopped playing video games altogether and at least one became an anti-video game activist.

According to one owner of an arcade, men wearing black suits would often come to collect "records" from the game. They did not take any money, simply data on gameplay. Because of this, the leading theory is that it was some sort of government experiment using subliminal messages. The game remains in obscurity as around one month after its release, all of the cabinets suddenly disappeared. One cabinet reappeared in an arcade 1998, but quickly disappeared again. While some have tried to recreate the game, no one has ever found the original ROM.

Fallout 3 Numbers Station

FALLOUT 3 NUMBERS STATION
=========================

Fallout 3 contains several in-game radio stations. The most diverse and important station is Galaxy New Radio. Many players of the evil persuasion know that you can kill Three Dog and he will be replaced by the technician Margaret. She is not a charismatic person and has very little it say, seeming to not enjoy her new announcing duties. She also never appears in person, and therefore cannot be killed. Once Three Dog is dead, you're stuck with Margaret.

What most players do NOT know is that under certain circumstances, GNR will become a "numbers station." A numbers station is a station that broadcasts an unusual coded message. Many of these exist in real life and some hypothesize that they are a nuclear retaliation control network. Simply check Wikipedia for more information about these odd broadcasts as they relate to the real world. Back to Fallout 3...

No one is really sure which actions are needed to hear the numbers station in Fallout 3. It appears that you must kill Three Dog, because no one has reported hearing the numbers station with him still alive. It also appears that you have to skip over the quest "Galaxy News Radio" where you help boost the signal so that the station can be broadcast further than just the immediate DC area. This is easy enough to do with either a speech check or simply using the FalloutWiki to look up where to go next and advance the main plot. Finally, you definitely have to destroy Raven Rock. The is the actual trigger to turn GNR into a numbers station and it will remain such for the rest of the game. However, the vast majority of the players who perform these three actions still continue hearing the standard GNR broadcasts, so there must be several more requirements the community has yet to isolate.

If you're lucky enough to have hit upon the right set of circumstances, just after destroying Raven Rock, you will get the message, "Radio signal lost" and a few seconds later, "Radio signal found." You cannot, however, actually listen to GNR just yet because you didn't boost the signal, and are out of range of the broadcast at the exit of Raven Rock. Luckily, Raven Rock is situated in the mountains and is right near one of the few places outside DC that you can get high enough to catch the signal. So far, the confirmed location to hear the GNR numbers signal are:

1. Within the immediate DC area obviously...this is true for the regular GNR throughout the game. 2. At the top of the ferris wheel on that backwater redneck island. I can't remember its name just now. 3. On the tops of some of the satcom arrays you can climb in the northwestern map area. 4. On the roof of Tenpenny Tower, though this may be within normal broadcast range anyway. Feel free to playtest and get back to me on this. 5. On the highest point of the broken bridge around Arefu...again, may be within braodcast range anyway. 6. On some of the highest points of the mountain tops in the area near Raven Rock. This is obviously your easiest chance to first listen to the numbers station.

When you tune in, you will hear an old familiar voice...Three Dog, despite the fact that you killed him earlier. However, you will quickly notice that he does not seem to be "in character." So I guess it's not technically Three Dog, but just the voice actor, Erik Dellums. He reads a series of numbers in a monotone, depressed sounding voice. He always recites a list of single digits between 9 and 12 characters long. For example, "nine-three-seven-nine-one-seven-two-zero-three-four." Hever never uses a multi-digit number like "eleven" or "forty." These numbers are followed by widely varying lengths of Morse code. This is then followed by the song "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire." All other music tracks seem to be inactive on the numbers station.

The Morse code was the easiest part of the mystery to crack, as the code is widely available and many people actually know it by heart. We quickly had a list of a great number of messages in English. Some sounded completely mundane and even comical, such as "Washed the car today, maybe Chinese for dinner." or "Have you watched my YouTube video yet, I uploaded myself kicking bums in the nuts."

You may be saying, "But wait, YouTube doesn't exist in the Fallout universe," and you are right. As far as we could tell, all of the messages sounded like they were based in our reality somewhere near present day.

Some of the messages, however, are quite sinister, such as, "The Queen has died today. The world mourns, as on days like these, we are all Brits." or "I can't believe they're actually done it. Not long left. The noise. I can't take the noise anymore. I have a pistol in the attic."

Just recently, a player on the wikiforums noticed a message that brought to light the meaning of the messages. He was reading a thread that collected all known messages, transposed from Morse to English, and saw the line, "one-two-zero-five-five-two-eight-two-zero-one-zero. What are you talikn' about? You'll be missed." He realized this referred to the recent death of Gary Coleman, and the quickly realized the numbers were the time and date of death. He immediately scanned through the messages to try and find more examples of this apparent future telling by a game that's more than a year old. The next message he read shocked him and pushed him to enlist the aid of the others to decipher the codes. The message was "nine-four-five-four-two-zero-two-zero-one-zero. Accident in the gulf, several dead. Oil spill apparently averted." He realized this was the BP explosion and the erroneous day-one assessment that the well was not leaking.

From this point on, all numbers will be transcribed as times and dates. All times were given in game in military format and remain so in this document.

Numerous members of the FalloutWiki message board began looking over the messages to see what else we could learn. We quickly found that most of the dates were after the game had been released, yet oddly some were from the past. "22:15 April 15, 1865 He's dead and blame will probably be placed on that actor, Booth. Johnson better not cheat me out of the payment." This shed new doubt on the official version of the Lincoln assassination.

As the community quickly started piling up interpretations of the messages, the mods of the site summarily banned everyone who had posted in, or even read the thread. All reference to the numbers station was removed from FalloutWiki and filtering software was put in place to prevent reposting of any relevant information. A few people, however, are trading emails and slowly finishing the translation of the remaining messages and putting dates to the existing ones.

"The Queen has died today. The world mourns, as on days like these, we are all Brits." 4:02 March 19, 2014

"Have you watched my YouTube video yet, I uploaded myself kicking bums in the nuts." 24:16 December 24, 2012

"I can't believe Britney's actually won an Oscar!" 21:33 Fruary 27, 2023

"I can't believe they've actually done it. Not long left. They were warned, but they just had to keep pushing the boundaries of science. The noise. I can't take the noise anymore. And the light, dear God! The Universe is slowly unravelling around us. I'm not going to wait for death. I have a pistol in the attic." This is actually the only message not preceded by a strig of numbers.

It may be worth noting that the latest date on any of the messages is 1:27 July 6, 2027.

Fallout 2 Secret Ending

FALLOUT 2 SECRET ENDING
=======================

In Fallout 2, after you beat the game you can continue playing. Remember that defunct vault near the beginning? The one with the toxic sludge on the ground and the elevator where you kill golden geckos? It's called "toxic caves" on the world map, but it is clearly a very small vault with 3 levels. (Including the first cave level, where you take a ladder down to the actual vault structure.)

Well, if you have one of the original pressings of the game and you have not patched it, you can return to the toxic caves after the game is over and if you have the item "heart pills" from the Westin murder quest, you can kill yourself in the elevator.

After the usual death scene plays, the screen will stay black without the menu screen opening up. After several minutes, you will begin to hear a hollow echoey white noise cave sort of sound. The screen will slowly fade back in to find your character in a pile of that nasty biomass goo that was all around the Master from the first game. Your character will stand up and the usual ambient soundtrack will start playing, but the white noise will still be there.

Explore this new level, but DO NOT pick any locks. Those areas are extremely off limits and the developers put some very nasty programming tricks into the code to protect their secrets.

As you continue farther into the level, you will hear the white noise continue to increase in volume and the ambient soundtrack you are so used to will exhibit strange artifacts. This may be because of the difficulty of playing two music tracks simultaneously in the Fallout engine which wasn't designed to be able to do this.

Passing locked door after locked door, you will come upon many of the characters you met earlier in the game. Oddly, you only find characters that died, or that would be reasonably be expected to die after you last saw them. Like the official endings, the characters found vary depending on how you played the game...if you were the good guy and tried to solve problems without violence, you will only find a few bad guys and unfortunate victims here. If you slaughtered every town, you will see several hundred characters.

Regardless of what you did earlier, none of the characters will speak to you or react to any action in any way. They can't be pickpocketed, killed, pushed aside, or healed. If you try to use First Aid, Doctor, or any healing items on them, the game will tell you in the text box, "It's much too late for that, Chosen."

It would appear that this area is purgatory, or possibly hell, based on being populated entirely by dead characters. The final character, standing just before the final door is always a Player Character model from the first Fallout. This is the only character you can interact with and as you appraoch, the white noise reaches a crescendo and the ambient music abrupt cuts out. If you simply bypass him and open the door, the game will play the end credits once again, only with pictures of Hiroshima and Nagasake victims in the background. This is in extreme poor taste and many have wondered why the creators would be so insensitive. When asked, they deny the sequence exists and call it a hack that was never in the game at all. After it ends, you are greeted with a typical game over screen and are booted to the desktop.

If you talk to the final character, he will explain that he is in fact the Vault Dweller from the original game, your ancestor. He will tell you that he is disappointed in the way you turned out and he will turn his back on you and your character will collapse into a pile of bones in a death animation that I have never seen in the game itself. Afterwards, the game will fade to white and lock up the computer, forcing a hard reset.

There is a third option. Those locked doors I mentioned earlier. This is one door, it's always random as to which door, but if you get lucky in picking you can use any heavy explosive to blow it open. Inside, you will find a single footlocker hold a 10mm pistol with no clip in the picture and no ammo in it. None of your normal 10mm ammo can be used. You can "load" the gun with the "easter egg" found in the basement of New Reno Arms. Fire this into the head of the final character and the game will cut to a over-the-shoulder video showing a young man playing an unidentified Fallout-like game. Some people claim that this is an early version of either Fallout Tactics or Van Buren, but nothing on the screen seems to fit either of those games. Also neither of those games had started development at the time of the orginal pressing of Fallout 2. The video itself is poorly lit, with the apparent intention of being a creepy si[her, but nothing spooky actually happens in the video. The man simply plays the unknown game and the video slowly fades into your desktop (a cool trick, I'm not really sure how they managed a dragually translucing screen back then).

Another strange trick is that according to many players, the final character always matches the character they most recently played in Fallout 1. Both gender and their apparel at the end of the previous game are represented. At first this would appear to be a savegame hack, much like Psycho Mantis in Metal Gear Solid, but the trick works even if the original Fallout was played on a different computer without transferring any data to the new PC.

It's recommended that you do not turn on any televisions in your house for several hours after experiencing this extra ending. You will quickly realise that the white noise in the game is identical to the white noise now coming from your television. Cable, satellite, and even antenna, if you still have that, are all somehow incapable of picking up a signal for some time after the secret ending. All internet connections, however seem to still work. That's how I'm writing this to you now. The funny thing is, I turned my television back off nearly an hour ago, as well as my computer speakers...but I still hear the static getting louder.

Donkey Kong 3 1/2

DONKEY KONG COUNTRY 3 1/2
=========================

I'm a fan of old video games and visit the local video game store everyday. I'm also friends with one of the Clerks who goes to pick up the stock of video games and I always ask for old NES and SNES games. One day, he said "Hey, have you heard of the Donkey Kong Country series?". With excitment on my face, I replied that I had, and he handed my a DKC3 box. Something was different: there was duck tape with a sharpied 1/2 after 3 so I said thanks and headed home. When I got home, I pulled my SNES out and started the game. It had a save file, which was strange for a game mint in the box. It was a single player file that was just started with 00:00 and 0% the name was DEMO.

I guessed it was just a tutorial file and played it. Dixie jumped off the cliff and swam onto Wrinkly's save cave. Wrinkly was just playing her Nintendo 64 and she said "Not even my favorite game can erase the horrid image in my head". Dixie just walked out with a worried face. I moved Dixie to Bazzar's and when I entered the level, Bazzar wasen't there and the Blue's beach hut theme played instead of the upbeat normal one. Dixie would simply leave at the command of any button. I moved on to Funky's Rentals and inside Funky said "Here's that bratty cousin of yours". Kiddy fell onto the floor screaming like he does when you die as him, then Funky said "Get out of my house". The screen then turned black and popped back on with Dixie, Kiddy and the motor boat at the island next to Funky's. I moved on to Lake Orangatanga and entered the first level called Boardwalk Battle. Oh good, a normal level name. Maybe all that was a glitch. I entered the level to find out it was a bridge level. The first thing I noticed was the music was the water theme and the Kobbles moved slower and looked depressed. When I jumped on a Kobble, they would have a lower pitched version of Kiddy's scream. Dixie and Kiddy had terrified expressons after the first Kobble was defeated.

I completed the level and moved to the first mill level called Deadly Neckties. In the level the camera didn't scroll but when Dixie reached the right edge of the screen she did the point and screem from DKC2 then the camera scrolled to find a Kobble swaying on a noose. There were also empty nooses that could be grabbed to make it through the level. At the end, there was the only real enemy in the whole level, which was a Kobble who would say "MEISTORE EHKZ" before saying "He is horrible! He abuses us more painfully then K.Rool could deliver!". Then he paused and sniffled then he sat down and said "Please end my hell!" when I walked into him he would stop me and say "Please" and this would make Dixie backtrack a few feet before he died normaly.

After the level was beaten I entered Wrinkly's and Wrinkly was gone. Dixie said "We should save; its the way she would have wanted it" before the the Save and Leave options appered. Back on the map I swam to Barnical's to find that he wasen't behind the counter. He was hanging himself at the center of the room with an anchor firmly tied to his chest. Once again, Dixie leaves using any button. I moved on to find the next level, which was called K.Rool Kell. It had K.Rool in a cell where he had broken an egg shell. He was just sitting in his cell and he said "Well, well, well, if it isn't those Moron Monkies". Dixie just left. Skidda's Row and Murky Mill were exactly the same except that Skidda's Row had a pile of dead, pale, icy Skidda's and Murky Mill had mouse traps with Sneeks crying and painfully struggling to escape them. Swanky's Sideshow was the same, but Swanky was gone and there was a big sign that said "OUT OF BUSINESS," Then I reached the Boss level, which was called Dead House.It was just a Mill corridoor with a lot of Kremling corpses laying on the floor and in piles. At the end, the cannon came out and shot Dixie all the way to Kastle Kaos, which was now called No One Has Seen. Terrified, I entered the level to find that the boss was a unused enemy from DKC2 named Mr.X he hovered around the room then would throw a kannonball that would be stuck in the ground with a Krook hook, then he would hover above it, I used Kiddy to crowbar the kannonball upwards into Mr.X the second it met his sprite the game faded black with Bleak's laugh. I wrote a jounal to remember parts of the game in case of it breaking or files getting corupted, if I ever find anything new I shall write it down.

* * *
["Deadly Neckties" is actually a pretty good level name. - Owner]

Diddy Kong Racing - The Satanic Code

DIDDY KONG RACING - THE SATANIC CODE
====================================

The time was right for me to go through my classic Nintendo 64 games, at this time most games were being ported, remade, emulated, or brought back to us today. But instead I just decided to use my Diddy Kong Racing cartridge that I had once beaten as a child, with all levels, characters, etc.

Then I had also realized I had an unopened GameShark Nintendo 64 that my relatives gave to me for Christmas ( I didn’t know what the hell it was so I never bothered to open it) but now I realize what GameShark is and what its functions are. So I decided, Hey, maybe I could use cheats for DKR.

I got onto my computer and went to Google to type in Diddy Kong Racing GameShark Codes. I had come across this one interesting site that had a whole variety of codes, such as infinite Bananas or even cheats you could already use ingame within its own code system. Then I looked for the GameShark exclusive codes and came across one in particular entitled _“SATAN”_ and I wondered what that was about, so I loaded my GameShark and typed that long code into DiddyKongRacings Cartridge.

When I started the game, everything seemed fine, until I got to the character select screen, my select cursor was on the clock T.T. (that took me forever to unlock must I add), but it wouldn’t let me move it over to another character, I thought maybe the controller was broken but everything checked out fine with it. So when I chose T.T., he just remained silent, though the joyous music continued to play.

I decided to bring him to the tracks, and out of random, I chose Fossil Canyon. Though when I chose which vehicle to play, I could only use the Plane, the options for the Car and Hovercraft were eliminated somehow. The race began as usual, though the 3rd person prospective was not shown in my character, It was almost as if I was riding on T.T.’s Shoulder and he was soaring through the level like superman, but that didn’t make it anymore difficult, so I just played through.

The characters all got off the starting line as I did, and for the most part of the race, I was in last place, until I found one of those orange/red rings you could fly through to get a boost on the plane, however, for some reason it was no ring at all, when I approached it, it looked like I was going into some Solar Eclipse looking object, once I went through it, the boost effect worked, though instead of hearing the boost sound, it made a different sound that sounded like a giant clock bell being struck.

Then the music continued after the boost had finished, but I noticed one thing… The characters were all gone from the track, none of them had even finished the Fossil Canyon track… I was so confused, where did they all go? I felt maybe it was a glitch from using GameShark, but it had to be more serious than that. I finished the race, but when I crossed the finish line after the Final Lap, the “FINISH” line you would normally hear at the end was not heard, and instead, a deeper and more frightening version of Wizpig’s laugh could be heard.

This is where I began to panic, I knew that GameShark Hacking could mean serious business, though I was really wondering if any cheat device could cause this all to occur. So I returned to the tracks menu and chose different tracks to play on, and the characters had still vanished.

So I decided to play the adventure mode with this “Satanic T.T.”. When I went to select a game file to play, the files name, which was once my initials, was now “TTX” I assumed the TT stood for T.T., and the X could have meant Satan.

The joyous island music that played did not play. The whole area was dead silent, not even the birds or the frogs could be heard, nor was Taj the elephant anywhere to be found. I thought I could somehow summon Taj by honking at the big circle in the middle of the field, but instead I got this big message that came up saying *“THERE IS NO HOPE – TAJ”* …. Now I was creeped out, I took a ride around the area, and noticed T.T. had still remained in the lobbies. I walked over to talk to him and he said something along the lines of *“*&$%!#^@ OR DEATH”* I immediately rushed out of the Dino Demain lobby where I talked to him.

The giant wizpig head where you first raced Wizpig had been closed, but the eyes still lit up, and its eyes tended to follow you every time you entered the main field. I took the Satan T.T. character to Future FunLand, and noticed I could still access the Second Wizpig Door. I had talked to the FFL Lobby T.T. and all he had to say was *“There’s only death to purify the world and its inhabitants”* and that completely made no sense to me, but was still a bit creepy.

I went through the second wizpig door, but instead there being Wizpig to crash through the rocks, it was the life size Satan T.T., who blasted his was to the starting line making a sort of Godzilla roar. The race began, the race was not at all normal though, The Satan T.T. I was racing looked exactly and flew exactly the way mine did, though when we approached the item balloons, each balloon was a still shot of each Playable Character floating in mid-air (such as Diddy, Tiptup, Conker, and Bumper) and once you’d hit a balloon, you’d hear a sort of messed up audio sound of their own character voices, as if they were being tortured or murdered. The items worked regularly though.

After a few tries, I eventually managed to defeat The massive Satan T.T. When I defeated him, music came up that sounded like the Angry Aztec Lobby from Donkey Kong 64. Then the text appeared *“YOUR SOUL HAS BEEN SUCCEEDED, THERE IS NO MORE DEATH, NO MORE PAIN, NO MORE CRYING”*. The screen fades to black for about 13 seconds (I thought the game froze ).

The Diddy Kong Racing startup screen loaded and everything worked ok again, you could select your own character and T.T. was no longer Satan T.T., when I selected a character however, The message that was supposed to come up was replaced with this text. *“MYTHOLOGY, I HAVE TAKEN THAT, AND IT WILL COME TO YOU THAT YOU CAN HAVE ULTIMATE POWER, NOW PLAY, PLAY YOUR GAME AND LETS FORGET THIS EVER OCCURRED”*.

-The End.