Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Donkey Kong 3 1/2


I'm a fan of old video games and visit the local video game store everyday. I'm also friends with one of the Clerks who goes to pick up the stock of video games and I always ask for old NES and SNES games. One day, he said "Hey, have you heard of the Donkey Kong Country series?". With excitment on my face, I replied that I had, and he handed my a DKC3 box. Something was different: there was duck tape with a sharpied 1/2 after 3 so I said thanks and headed home. When I got home, I pulled my SNES out and started the game. It had a save file, which was strange for a game mint in the box. It was a single player file that was just started with 00:00 and 0% the name was DEMO.

I guessed it was just a tutorial file and played it. Dixie jumped off the cliff and swam onto Wrinkly's save cave. Wrinkly was just playing her Nintendo 64 and she said "Not even my favorite game can erase the horrid image in my head". Dixie just walked out with a worried face. I moved Dixie to Bazzar's and when I entered the level, Bazzar wasen't there and the Blue's beach hut theme played instead of the upbeat normal one. Dixie would simply leave at the command of any button. I moved on to Funky's Rentals and inside Funky said "Here's that bratty cousin of yours". Kiddy fell onto the floor screaming like he does when you die as him, then Funky said "Get out of my house". The screen then turned black and popped back on with Dixie, Kiddy and the motor boat at the island next to Funky's. I moved on to Lake Orangatanga and entered the first level called Boardwalk Battle. Oh good, a normal level name. Maybe all that was a glitch. I entered the level to find out it was a bridge level. The first thing I noticed was the music was the water theme and the Kobbles moved slower and looked depressed. When I jumped on a Kobble, they would have a lower pitched version of Kiddy's scream. Dixie and Kiddy had terrified expressons after the first Kobble was defeated.

I completed the level and moved to the first mill level called Deadly Neckties. In the level the camera didn't scroll but when Dixie reached the right edge of the screen she did the point and screem from DKC2 then the camera scrolled to find a Kobble swaying on a noose. There were also empty nooses that could be grabbed to make it through the level. At the end, there was the only real enemy in the whole level, which was a Kobble who would say "MEISTORE EHKZ" before saying "He is horrible! He abuses us more painfully then K.Rool could deliver!". Then he paused and sniffled then he sat down and said "Please end my hell!" when I walked into him he would stop me and say "Please" and this would make Dixie backtrack a few feet before he died normaly.

After the level was beaten I entered Wrinkly's and Wrinkly was gone. Dixie said "We should save; its the way she would have wanted it" before the the Save and Leave options appered. Back on the map I swam to Barnical's to find that he wasen't behind the counter. He was hanging himself at the center of the room with an anchor firmly tied to his chest. Once again, Dixie leaves using any button. I moved on to find the next level, which was called K.Rool Kell. It had K.Rool in a cell where he had broken an egg shell. He was just sitting in his cell and he said "Well, well, well, if it isn't those Moron Monkies". Dixie just left. Skidda's Row and Murky Mill were exactly the same except that Skidda's Row had a pile of dead, pale, icy Skidda's and Murky Mill had mouse traps with Sneeks crying and painfully struggling to escape them. Swanky's Sideshow was the same, but Swanky was gone and there was a big sign that said "OUT OF BUSINESS," Then I reached the Boss level, which was called Dead House.It was just a Mill corridoor with a lot of Kremling corpses laying on the floor and in piles. At the end, the cannon came out and shot Dixie all the way to Kastle Kaos, which was now called No One Has Seen. Terrified, I entered the level to find that the boss was a unused enemy from DKC2 named Mr.X he hovered around the room then would throw a kannonball that would be stuck in the ground with a Krook hook, then he would hover above it, I used Kiddy to crowbar the kannonball upwards into Mr.X the second it met his sprite the game faded black with Bleak's laugh. I wrote a jounal to remember parts of the game in case of it breaking or files getting corupted, if I ever find anything new I shall write it down.

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["Deadly Neckties" is actually a pretty good level name. - Owner]

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